10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Is Wrong (Parody)

By LordOfDailytimes on June 19, 2020 Humor

Did you know that gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall? Scroll down to see all ten mind-blowing facts why gay marriage is wrong!

Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a cat has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all. Women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour and Kim Kardashian's 72-day marriage would be destroyed.

Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more people.

Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why you have only one religion in your country.

Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. We could never adapt to new things. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, internet, or longer life spans.

Please note that this post is a parody of anti-gay-marriage arguments. We on this site are not against marriage equality. And since this is such a controversial topic, please stay civil in the comments. Thanks!