There is something about summer that speaks to our most carefree selves. The temperatures rise, the days are longer, and we spend our time outdoors and with others, sharing in the communal feeling of free-spiritedness. There really is no other season quite like it. As we prepare to peel off the layers and throw open our windows, we’re looking ahead to a summer of self-love. Embodying the spirit of the season, Emma Hoareau’s refreshing “note to self” Instagram post was a reminder of what it means to celebrate the bodies we have and everything that comes with them. Because, after all, every body is a “beach body.”
We spoke to seven women who have all openly and honestly shared moments that have changed their outlook on life and are no strangers to celebrating their individuality, unique journeys and contentedness in their current phase of life. We’re using this summer as the summer to explore fashion, beauty and wellness as a means of self-expression and self-acceptance. This is a celebration of the confidence they found in letting go and the advice they would share with their younger, and less uninhibited, selves.
Dear Emma,
“Freedom. That’s all you ever wanted. Guess what? You found it. Freedom to live in line with your energy, freedom to make your own choices and freedom to feel good—simply because you choose to.
“Freedom, to me, is beauty. Beauty can be seen anywhere if you decide to see it. Seeing and feeling beauty makes you feel free, free from societal ‘norms.’ I grew up thinking I had to change, be someone else, look like something else to ‘fit in.’ But the biggest change was switching my mindset from ‘I’ll never be enough’ to ‘I am who I am and always will be myself.’
“I don’t subscribe to the idea of body positivity because, to me, it’s unrealistic to be constantly positive about anything! But there is beauty in duplicity, and there is beauty in change. You don’t have to constantly be one thing that you (or others) deem ‘beautiful.’ You can be many different things, sizes, personalities, energies and find all of them beautiful.
“I wish I could go back and tell younger you that you should enjoy your body. She is your home, your cocoon. Remember that she is perfectly imperfect and perfectly you.”
Love,
Emma
Emma Hoareau, Beauty Blogger, Photographer and Mentor
Dear Mia,
“It is 2016, and you are 50 glorious years old now and have been dyeing your hair dark to hide your grey strands from the judgmental eyes of the world for almost two decades. You love the colour of your natural silver hair that glistens at the root five days after dye day, but you fear how society may deem you irrelevant. The beautiful colour that grows naturally from your scalp is deemed unacceptable, ugly even. It is associated with being old, and old is considered undesirable. You wonder how you will survive the workplace because you know that when you were young, you would have judged that grey-haired old colleague as outdated. How will you navigate being single? What man would ever find grey hair attractive?!
“However, be brave. Know that the letting go of the dye will lead to the letting go of your inner ageism. Society has taught you that you should try to look young for as long as you can—that you will only be attractive if you do everything you can to stay looking youthful, dye your hair, buy ‘anti-ageing’ cream, obsess about every new wrinkle, age spot or open pore, hate on every single sign of your years on this Earth, dread each birthday and fear being asked your age. But find the strength to stop listening. Once you do, amazing things will happen for you.
“You will stand out. Strangers will notice you, stop you in the street to pay you kind compliments. Many will say that you are brave to be so radical, and you will discover that you were wrong about feeling undesirable. Men and women admire the colour but, more importantly, what it stands for: a woman who said, ‘No more will I listen to society. I have accepted my age, and I am now free of my own ageist, limiting beliefs. This is me!’ It will be one of the best decisions you ever made, and it will transform your life.
“By 2020, in the middle of a pandemic, you will decide to tackle societal ageism. As a midlife consumer, you have been feeling ignored by brands and made to feel invisible and irrelevant, spending your hard-earned money with brands who didn’t see you. You have felt marginalised before as a young woman when you didn’t see yourself in magazines or on billboards, whether that be your skin tone, your hair texture, your body type, and it led to poor body image and low self-esteem. But once all of those ‘diversity’ boxes have been ticked, what about age inclusivity? Well, with the power of social media, your voice can now be heard.
“At 54 years old, you will make the decision to be visible and vocal about ageism because you don’t want your daughters to buy into the notion that life ends at 40. You will connect with other women on Instagram and build a community of women who refuse to be ignored, creating a space that represents your generation authentically. You will switch your IG account from private to public and put out the call to action ‘Let’s create an authentic silver space for the next generation.’ They use the hashtag #SilverSisters, and this community of amazingly supportive and feisty women will inspire you to keep creating content until the unthinkable will happen. Within four weeks of being public with your page, four model agencies will scout you.
“As a model, you will work with the largest global beauty brand on a global campaign. You will film for a Disney CGI remake. You will dance in your knickers for an M&S lingerie campaign. UK TV will use your image to discuss age inclusion in marketing. Your image will be in every mainstream newspaper, the cover of Stylist magazine. You will be on billboards and magazines across Europe, Canada, the Caribbean, Central and South America. All the while, you’ll be continuing to fight ageist attitudes and changing the narrative around midlife on Instagram. Now, you’ve even been scouted by a literary agency and are in the process of writing a book proposal about ageing gracefully.
“So you see—it wasn’t so bad. Deciding to ditch the dye will, in fact, lead to you living a life filled with purpose.”
Warmest of wishes,
Mia
Mia Maugé, Model
Dear Michelle,
“Life is very unpredictable for you right now. Losing a job is never an easy pill to swallow, but there are so many incredible milestones on the horizon for you. Lean on your friendships and your family. They will provide the pillars of strength you need to get through this time.
“Your dad is going to ask you to come to work with him. You’re not going to want to, but do it. Soak up as much knowledge as you can about sourcing, formulations, how to run a business. You’ve looked up to him for so many years, so treasure this time. The knowledge you gain in this next period of life is going to alter the trajectory of your career and your life’s work.
“Enjoy the beauty rituals and traditions with your mom and grandmother now. Relish in those weekly hair-oiling rituals. Those memories will come in handy after you have your own gorgeous boys and start going through postpartum hair loss. You’ll develop a hair serum with a divine jasmine scent that people will fall in love with.
“On beauty rituals, take the time to understand the why and how behind the turmeric face masks, the hair oiling and the Ayurvedic teas. There will come a time when Ayurvedic beauty is mainstream, when South Asians will begin to dominate in media, entertainment, politics and beauty. You’ll be part of this movement. You’ll be the founder of the first Ayurvedic skincare brand to launch at Sephora and Harrods, two of the most iconic retailers in the world.
“Treasure the relationships you’re making from dancing. Those friendships will become the foundation for your growth, personally and professionally. Your warmth and openness to others will be your biggest strength in the future. This time now is temporary. You’ll get through it, and you’ll look back one day and realise that getting let go was probably the best thing that ever happened to you.”
Love,
Michelle
Michelle Ranavat, Founder of Ranavat
Dear Amy,
“No, you’re not free in the same ways that you were five years ago. You can’t do what you want the way that you used to. Every decision is laced with responsibility, nuance, sometimes guilt. Your children gaze at you as if you know all the answers, and somehow, you have to assure them that you’ve got this, even though the only thing keeping your eyes open is the lukewarm coffee that you’ve reheated way too many times. This sounds sad, but trust me—it’s not. Motherhood brings an opposing type of freedom, one that sometimes takes getting used to. Suddenly, you’re teaching yourself how to accept who you are and move towards who you want to be, uncertainty in tow.
“You’re no longer looking at life through the lens of insecurity, denial or shame. You’re no longer giving airtime to the things that drag you back to those places. There comes a point where you’ll decide that dressing for yourself is the perfect way to really honour you, a point where you realise that motherhood can make you bold in more ways than one. You’re no longer too shy to wear the crop top, even if your belly has changed. When errandwear becomes your uniform, you can decide to make it brighter. No more shying away from your wardrobe, only wearing baggy clothes and dark colours. Your daughters will grow unafraid of self-expression because that’s what they know. They’ll know that they can show up in what they want as long as it’s them.
“You’ll learn that it’s a statement to wear what you want and claim who you are, regardless of what society wants to see. Motherhood is not a box, and part of the journey is learning to treat yourself like you actually like yourself—because you do—and when you remember that… You’re free. You’re free from the illusion of perfection, the unrealistic expectations that literally no one can reach. You’re removed from the burden of self-judgment, from hiding the parts of yourself that you love. You’re able to sit with discomfort and get to know it, to change your mind and change it again. It’s freedom, reimagined, but freedom still.”
Love,
Amy
Amy Jackson, Model
Dear Estée,
“Despite you trying, life cannot be planned. You’re going to feel exceptional highs and soul-crushing lows, but all of it has a purpose. You’re inherently intuitive—don’t lose that. Even when you stray from who you are at your core, just know that you will find yourself again and again.
“Respect your mother. You are who you are because of her, and she knows everything about you before you realise it yourself, and you will find your people. It may seem like they aren’t out there, but trust me—they are. All of your time spent alone learning about yourself will make you a better friend and partner in the future. People will see you for who you really are. You don’t need to perform. When you turn 19 and wonder if you should move to England, you should. It will stretch your mind and take you to the edge of what you thought was possible. You will miss your family in a way that makes your heart ache every single day, but this is your path. The family bond will keep you glued together, even from across the world. They want you to experience it all! (Also, always have a dog. They teach you things humans never could. Don’t let the pain of outliving them deter you from experiencing unconditional love.)
“Don’t try to be someone you’re not. It never lasts, and you’ll always feel most comfortable at home, surrounded by your books, your dog and your bath. Why fight it? Believe it or not, your passion for relaxation will be the basis of your proudest career challenge/achievement—launching Mirror Water, a lifestyle community and bodycare brand centred around self-reflection. Everything you’ve learned prior will prepare you for it. You can do it, and the world needs it.
“Remember to look around. Talk to strangers. Notice the spring flowers. When in doubt, have a hot shower. Don’t settle, and learn to listen to yourself. All of the answers are within you.”
Love,
Estée
Estée Lalonde, Creative Director and Founder of Mirror Water
Dear Cat,
“I didn’t know that this year, your 35th trip around the sun, would be the most challenging yet. Just when I thought I had it all figured out, the universe came to remind me of some important lessons. Sometimes, we dwell on the ‘Why me? Why knock me back when things are so good?’ But then, I check back in with myself, remembering that my body is showing me signs that need to be seen, and I’m facing these new hurdles now because I’m strong enough now.
“The skin flares-ups that we’ve been working through have been a roller coaster—that’s for sure—but it was the moment that I stopped trying to fix everything and instead accepted this part of my journey that I was able to cultivate a sense of freedom within myself. This letter isn’t about the past. It’s one to come back to. It’s for the next phase of me, the evolution and expansion that is happening right now. I don’t know what comes next. As I like to say, ‘I am in transit,’ constantly shifting and changing. Your outer layer does not define who you are. You will age. Your laughter lines will get clearer. Your bodily aches and pains will become more noticeable, but maybe now you can start to see these things as gifts of the life you have lived so far.
“The skin issues we’re facing right now are still lingering, and who knows—maybe they’ll be here for another week, a few months or maybe even years. I don’t have to have all of the answers right now. I will reach the root cause eventually, but I will come at it with more compassion and love. When I walk past the mirror each morning, I’m telling you how radiant and beautiful you are, no matter what. Flare-ups or not, I hope this new ritual lasts forever, and I wish for anyone else reading this letter to try doing the same. There’s so much more to come, so take each day as it arrives. Lean into being the best version of yourself that you can muster each day (even if it’s the crying and emotional version), and honour her with the same love and compassion that you would your best friend. Always remember that there’s an inner child inside of you just needing a hug. Together, you have the grace and strength to emerge into your next chapter with so much freedom.”
Love,
Cat
Cat Meffan, Yoga Teacher and Content Creator
Dear Ireti,
“Here I am, grown. Shaped yet formless. There lies the beauty in the liminal space, that fluidity where I can allow myself to develop and change and know that that is okay. There’s room for reshaping, rethinking, reimagining again and again.
“As an introvert, I tend to seek out the quiet corners, but through fashion, I can be expressive in a way that is both playful and liberating. Clothes are all about how they make me feel and less about trying to make a statement. I like how an outfit can infuse my mood, the colours in part a nod to that feel-good energy I try to channel. I’m drawn to bright colours and graphic prints. In some ways, this contrasts my quiet
nature, but that does not define my whole identity, and I love that, through clothes, I can express a bolder version of myself. I love bright greens, oranges and yellows and the way rich tones bounce off my complexion. I like playing around with
oversized shapes and toeing the line between masculinity and femininity. Have more self-belief—that’s what I’d tell my younger self. My confidence was always going to grow. I just needed to give it time.
“Everyone’s journey is going to look and feel different. That’s what makes life interesting. Freedom in fashion is having the confidence to wear something I wouldn’t previously have worn. It’s not trying to stand out but being comfortable with not blending in or assimilating. It’s celebrating my own choices, liking the things I like regardless of trends or popularity. I feel empowered by my own growth, galvanised. I’m evolving, and I’m loving the process. The clothes and things I gravitate to now may or may not be the same in years to come, but that’s also the fun in it all.”
Love,
Ireti
Ireti Odugbesan, Writer and Poet
