PHOENIX – Teams line up rosters and map games out based on expectations of what should happen in the World Baseball Classic at their own peril. Time and again this tournament takes small-sample-size randomness and multiplies it by spring-training variance to produce utter chaos. As a result, the best laid plans don’t get torn up, they get shredded and burned with the ashes tossed into the wind.
That’s how you get, for instance, Ondrej Satoria, an electrician by day who tosses high-70s slop by night, striking out once-in-a-lifetime talent Shohei Ohtani for the Czech Republic. Or the wild five-way tie in Pool A decided by the best quotient of fewest runs allowed divided by the number of defensive outs recorded. Or the hot mess that was Canada’s 18-8 mercy-rule victory over Great Britain on Sunday afternoon, quite possible the best worst game you’ve ever seen.
Nothing other than the end result went according to plan for the Canadians, who had to steel themselves through a Gong Show game with fall-instructs vibes before a Chase Field crowd of 11,555.
Cal Quantrill, the undisputed ace of the Canadian staff fought his command from the jump, walked two of his first three batters, gave up the game’s opening run on a double steal, surrendered two more on RBI singles by Nick Ward and Darnell Sweeney and was out of the game with two outs and 37 pitches on the books.
Phillippe Aumont, the first-rounder-turned-farmer who cracked his tailbone playing beer-league hockey in January, kept the damage from being worse, just beating Anfernee Seymour to the bag at first after fielding a chopper to escape a bases-loaded jam and then things really went off the hook.
Edouard Julien pounded Akeel Morris’ first pitch in the bottom of the first over the wall in right to trigger a five-run rally. A pivotal moment came not on a base hit, but on an Abraham Toro groundout to first with the bases loaded, as he kept running up the line instead of peeling off, perhaps leading to Nick Ward bouncing his throw home after touching first, allowing a pair to score to tie the game 3-3.
That Ward touched the bag at first before throwing home was a mistake that negated the force at any base, was indicative of the loose British play the Canadians pounced on, and stood in sharp contrast to their much sharper performance in a 6-2 loss to the U.S. on Saturday night.
No matter, the team’s proceeded to turn scoresheets into mockeries over the next six frames.
Four Canadian batters hit in each of the six frames. They had 17 hits and 16 walks, led by Julien’s four. Owen Caissie launched a 108.3 m.p.h. drive 427 feet above the yellow homer line in centre but wasn’t sure so he raced around the bases, just in case the ball was in play. It wasn’t. Tyler O’Neill ripped a three-run double in a four-run third and added an RBI single in the six-run fourth while also scoring four times.
This one could have been over in five innings if the Canadian pitchers had been shut things down but they didn’t put up a zero until Curtis Taylor’s clean fifth. John Axford and Matt Brash then recorded six more outs to end the game in seven.
