“Not impressed,” spat the embittered Pittsburgh Penguins coach after the game. “It’s a pathetic performance.”
“Are we gonna be happy to play eight minutes?” he asked. “I’m not gonna be happy to play eight minutes. What will those guys say if we take 50 percent of their salary, because they only play 50 percent of the time?”
Those quotes came after an Edmonton Oilers win in Pittsburgh — just not this Edmonton Oilers win in Pittsburgh.
It was at the old Igloo in Pittsburgh, a little more than 17 years and a month ago, that a legendary post-game rant was born. The final score was 3-1, the first star was Shawn Horcoff — who scored all three Oilers goals — and the coach whose sarcastic, sardonic assessment was one Michel Therrien.
He filleted his team that night like a hungry fisherman on a salmon run.
“I really start to believe,” Therrien said of his team, through that delicious Quebecois accent, “that their goal is to be the worst defensive squad in the league. And they’re doing such a good job. They turn the puck over, they have no vision…
“They’re soft. I’ve never seen a bunch of defencemen soft like this.”
Fast forward 17 years and you have to wonder — after a 7-2 shellacking by the Oilers Thursday night in Pittsburgh — if Penguins head coach Mike Sullivan doesn’t just Youtube the Therrien rant and use it as his address before Friday morning’s practice.
The Edmonton Oilers beat Pittsburgh six ways to Sunday on Thursday, walking into PPG Paints Arena and embarrassing the Penguins with a converted touchdown in front of 18,400 surly folks.
The Oilers surrendered a game-opening goal to Kris Letang at 1:05 of the opening period, then hit the gas and left a plodding Penguins team in their dust, leading 6-1 after 40 minutes.
The Penguins had 12 shots through 40 minutes. To the naked eye, it did not appear they had touched the puck a dozen times before the second intermission.
“That’s the way that we want to play,” said Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, who notched point No. 600 on a slick, 1-1-2 night. “Not give them anything. Kind of choke them out as much as we can. That’s a skill team over there, so to hold them (down), to limit their shots and Grade A chances, is big for our team.”
Alas, after his team was sternly defeated in every possible aspect of the hockey game, Sullivan was less Therrien-esque, sounding more like the guy who bought a Blockbuster two weeks before Netflix came along.
“Tonight was a step backwards,” he said. “Without a doubt … a step backwards.
“We’ve got to find a way to get this thing going in the right direction.”
Look, there is always going to be that game when your team just doesn’t have it, and the other team is flying.
The Oilers can’t play a more structured, focused team game than the one they executed Thursday, and individually, Connor McDavid was as on-point as he’s been in any game this season. He opened the Oilers scoring with a goal you’ve likely seen 10 times already, shooting from behind the goal line and banking a puck top shelf off of the name plate on Tristan Jarry’s back.
From there, McDavid’s wheels — and the Oilers team speed — made the Penguins look old, slow and very yesterday. It was Pittsburgh’s fourth straight loss and fifth in six games, as they stumble down the stretch trying to snag a wild-card spot out East.
“Obviously, when you lose a few games there’s an element of fragility that you’re concerned about. … It’s human nature,” Sullivan said. “Are we a little bit concerned about that? Sure. Do we talk about those things? Absolutely. But at the end of the day, pro sports isn’t for the faint of heart. We’ve got to grab a hold of it, dust ourselves off and get back into the fight.
“We just got outplayed. They played better than us.”
Booed off the ice after 40 minutes, the Penguins played this one out to strains of “Fire Hextall,” as Steeltown fans let their general manager know what they thought of the roster he’s assembled.
“It was a rough night for everybody,” allowed Sidney Crosby. “We don’t like putting on a performance like that in front of them. They pay for their ticket and they want to see better. I understand that. It wasn’t a great night for anyone.”
The Oilers, meanwhile, tiptoed out of town with points in 14 of their last 16 road games, and wheel into Columbus where the 32nd-place Blue Jackets await for a Saturday matinee. Leon Draisaitl scored in his sixth straight game, and Devin Shore sniped off a nice feed from Jesse Puljujarvi, his first goal since March 17, 2022.
The words Therrien spoke that night applied perfectly:
“Tonight, it looks like mans against boys.”
