Parents Lying About Their “Genius” Kids On Twitter

By LordOfDailytimes on February 21, 2023 Humor

Yeah, I remember that one time my 6 year old son asked me if I’d ever offered a relevant observational musing of the state of the ideological spectrum that permeates the cultural zeitgeist. I told him to shut up and go play with his crayons, because he’s six. As a parent, have you experienced something similar? Please let us know in the comments section below!

"Everyone dies one day. Everyone. Even wolves. But not books. Not words. Words don't die." --my son, 3, who is a lot smarter than I am

Me: How was your day? 8yo: I just worry they are doing it wrong. Me: Doing what wrong? 8yo: They separate everything so we can’t understand anything. Who says music isn’t really math or math isn’t science really? Someone made categories but the world is a mushier than that.

a few weeks ago, one of my students started singing "every kiss begins with..." then a boy yelled "consent!" and i haven't stopped thinking about it since.

I spent yesterday at a camp for children - ages 8 to 11 who have cancer. When asked what they wish for next year they didn’t say “cure for cancer”. They said “end racism”. I cried.

So the school counselor just called me to ask if I was aware that my daughter planned & led a student protest today where 100+ students walked out of their 3rd period to hold a BLM rally on the yard bc they feel teachers treat the black students different & unfairly. She’s 12.

My husband reading with 6 yo and explaining “Miss, Mrs, Ms”: “Isn’t it wild that we created all these different words to tell the world whether or not a woman is married, but not for a man?”

My 6 year old niece just looked at me and said, does the air always smell like white privilege?

Just told my 10yo daughter about #QueenElizabeth. She had tears in her eyes. And then she did the Wakanda pose and said “#LizKanda forever” — which is the sort of the pop culture cross-over that I can celebrate.

when i broke up with my highschool boyfriend, my 10 year old brother walked in on me crying and asked what was wrong. i told him, and he proceeded to log on to Minecraft, join my ex’s party..and go set their town on fire. a family of psychos.

If you think you’re too young to make a difference because you can’t vote..I just found out that my 11YO has been (daily) reserving free seats at Trump rallies “so that they will be empty.”

One of my 6 year olds started crying today and when I asked why she said, “I don’t wanna grow up because I can’t bake, I can only make cereal, and furniture is expensive” Literally me

One of my boys just came running from his room. “Dad, dad, dad!” He shows me his phone. Shows me the headline. “He’s impeached!” And in his voice, his eyes, there’s hope. A Hope I share.

My favorite part of my husband working from home is that our 6YO critiques all his conference calls. “I think you should say ‘don’t get me wrong’ instead of ‘let me be clear’ next time daddy, it just sounds better.”

I told my 10yo as her school was cancelled that this was so unprecedented, her generation may end up being defined by it. Not two minutes later she excitedly exclaimed "we don't have to worry about getting shot at school for three whole weeks!" Sobering af.

My 5 year old niece saw the blue deer on my shirt and was like " awww it's a boy deer!" i took the opportunity to be like " or it can be a girl deer! girls like blue too, Olivia" she stared at me and said " i said it's a boy because it has antlers." take my degree away now.

today the 1st grader i was watching said that she didn’t understand why kindergarten kids got naps because it was the easiest grade. she said that big kids should have naps because they only get like 3 hours of sleep a night. in conclusion, MAKE HER PRESIDENT

3yo: I need you to fix this. Me: Listen, I got my own problems. You fix it. 3yo: Listen, you got my problems and your problems. Me: Actually that’s very accurate. Give me your toy. I’ll fix it.

That happened.

Yesterday my 7yo daughter told me+husband "You're lucky you get to have your adulthood before the world is completely messed up by climate change." Matter of fact, dead serious.

My 3 year old asked how long he had to wait until he could stop listening to me. I told him he had to listen to me for the rest of his life. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "I'll listen to you for the rest of YOUR life." Toddlers are cold-blooded, man.

“Mom, I have a question about Santa. To get name brand toys, does he engage in copyright infringement or commit felonies? Since the elves are involved, that’s also conspiracy, right?”