Shout Out To This Brazilian Wax Museum For Fueling My Nightmares

Gaze upon bleached blonde putty-face Nelson Mandela and tremble

Hello, folks! We’re not even halfway through the first month of 2021 and already some pretty crazy, important shit has gone down. Oh, did you think I meant the fact that Donald Trump was just impeached, a second time, for inciting a violent insurrection on the US Capitol last week?

NAH.

I’m referring to something of equal importance to the country, which is that I just learned today that a church in Brazil showcased a bunch of amateur wax figures in 2015 and they are fucking terrifying. Although the exhibit itself was from six years ago, video footage of the exhibit has gained a lot of attention online over the past few days because, I will say again, these statues are FUCKING. TERRIFYING. The artist responsible for creating these horrific figures and cursing them with their own existence is Brazilian sculptor Arlindo Armacollo. On one hand it’s easy for me, a non-sculptor, to sit here and pass judgement on his work like it carries any weight, but on the other hand, Jesus Christ almighty.

If there are two things we have learned this week they are 1. Don’t tell your angry mob of supporters to attack the Capitol, and 2. Wax figurine sculpting is not for everyone and perhaps we should throw the whole medium out entirely.