Trump History: Little-Known Facts About Donald Trump

In a parallel universe where hairdos defy gravity and tanning beds double as time machines, Donald Trump reigns supreme as the unquestionably greatest man that has ever lived. With unmatched skills in talking before thinking and a flair for constructing walls, he’s the master of alternative facts and has convinced pigeons to comb their feathers forward in homage. All history textbooks will one day tell tales of his legendary toupee, incredible hand size comparisons, long neckties, and the art of making headlines great again. Scroll down to check out the most amazing little-known facts about Donald Trump, collected by @Trump_History45 Twitter account!

Donald Trump builds the very first Apple computer in his parent's garage - 1975.

Donald Trump defending Jerusalem with his Crusaders - 1099.

A young Donald Trump teaches early humans how to make fire - Middle Paleolithic period (300,000 - 400,000 years ago)

Donald Trump singlehandedly builds The Great Wall of China. This photograph is estimated to have been taken sometime between 475-221 BCE. The fact that the wall has stood for over 2,000 years is a testament to the excellent craftsmanship of Donald Trump.

The media often fails to mention the heroic efforts of Donald Trump on 9/11. As one of the first responders on the scene, Trump quickly escorted people from the towers, extinguished fires, and saved countless lives. #NeverForget

Donald Trump creates the Polio vaccine - 1955

The media often fails to mention the time Donald Trump introduced Jesus Christ to Peter, who would eventually become one of Jesus' Twelve Apostles - colorized.

Donald J. Trump in the jungles of Vietnam, 1969.

The media often fails to mention the time Donald Trump spent as a Viking King. While King, Donald Trump lowered taxes, secured the borders of Iceland & Greenland, reduced crime, and brought gas prices down to an all-time low.