Walmart “Employee of The Week” Gets Hilariously Excellent Customer Reviews

Walmart in Grundy, Virginia recently gave a shout-out on Facebook to a woman named Alley as the new “Employee of The Week”. People in the comments began lavishly complimenting Alley with some made-up tales about her extraordinary abilities and excellent service. According to some of the commenters, Alley has saved countless lives and folks suggest just renaming the store to Alleymart. Scroll down to see the funniest reviews!

Alley once lept onto a grenade, using only her body to protect my cousin and his entire platoon while fighting in Iraq. She is truly a hero. When asked why she did it, Alley simply said, “It was my American duty”. Thanks Alley.

One time I witnessed Alley deliver a baby in the middle of the electronics department while also unlocking the case so I could buy a pair of headphones. The headphones were mediocre, but her customer service skills while she bit the umbilical cord was unmatched. 11/10. Awesome employee.

I lost my wife once in the apparel section. I was so scared Alley went and bought 2 pints of ice cream and sat on the ground and cried with me! 10/10 customer service!

I asked Alley for some advice on my life’s journey. She said “there’s the right way, the wrong way, and there’s the Alleyway.” She is so wise. Thank you Alley!!!

I was once trapped under my car after the jack failed. Alley came to my rescue and lifted the car with one arm and pulled me out with the other. She then reset my bones and made a cast from flour and newspaper I had laying around

My landlord raised my rent 15% and Alley robbed a bank and personally subsidised the exploitative relationship my landlord has to me as a tenant, her heart is infinite. Thanks Alley!

Did you know those flowers behind Alley were actually dead and wilted a week ago? Alley is Mother Nature in disguise and not only brought those flowers back to life, but all of the flowers in Walmarts all across the country. Thank you for helping the flowers Alley!

Alley saved my family from a house fire. I pulled my brother out, coughing and staggering. She stepped out carrying my dad, my mom, my other brother, my grandma and the painted portrait of my grandpa from 10 years before he passed. When I woke up in the hospital she handed me a Powerade and told me my family was ok. Thank you Alley!

I was once lost in sporting goods and Alley helped me find a tent, MREs, clean water, and a rifle to fend off rabid shoppers eager to invade our settlement. 5 out of 5 stars!

Me and the boys were in Syria a few weeks ago pinned down in an alley way getting rained on by heavy and small arms fire for well over 1 hour. Alley flew in and repelled out of a Blackhawk and neutralized the threat of over 25 insurgents BY HERSELF and flew us out after the pilot was KIA. Thank you Alley.

I asked Alley if we're ever going to have a Walmart here in the Philippines. She looked me, smiled and said, "Walmart is in your heart." I'll never forget that.

One time my horse went crazy while crossing a creek and broke both front legs. Alley happened to be driving by and knew I needed help. She fireman carried me and my horse across 7 miles of rough terrain and got us home safe. I'll never forget that day. I didn't know she worked at Walmart! Thank you Alley

I was pushing my wheelchair bound mother down aisle 7 when Alley said hello and brushed past. Suddenly my mother stood and rejoiced and began to walk and dance.

When my expedition to the North Pole was stuck in the ice and our food was running out, Alley showed up out of the blizzard with an axe and several gallons of soup and got our ship unstuck by herself while we ate.

I won't go into details but I needed a kidney replacement a week ago and Alley ripped both of hers out and surgically implanted them into me herself Thank you Alley

Alley worked with me on my punches and now I’m undefeated in pro boxing

She stopped me from picking up a hand saw from the wrong end 1 day . Thankyou Alley for saving my fingers

Alley has made every experience at my local walmart amazing. In fact I call it alleymart now because of her stellar customer service and attention to even the finest detail. She could prob run the whole store by herself tbh