The Funniest Tweets by Teachers

By LordOfDailytimes on October 12, 2022 Humor

Some teachers are masters of wit, not just experts in their chosen subjects. To show you just how great a sense of humor they have, we have collected the most hilarious teacher tweets that show the bizarre ups, hilarious downs, and facepalm-worthy twists and turns of their daily work lives.

I was fired from my job as a Kindergarten teacher for handing condoms to the parents of students I didn’t like.

Someone farted in class the other day, and a kid accused ME of doing it. I told them I don't fart in class and that if I did, I would go out in the hallway. Now, anytime I leave the classroom, they ask, "Are you going out to fart?" I'm dead.

I asked my students today what keeps them motivated. One of them said "spite."

My student just said “Violence is never the answer. It’s the question. The answer is yes.” Send help!

Teacher Confession: In an email to parents, I caught the following typo before hitting send: "Please hesitate to reach out!" ...and I just left it like that.

The greatest gift I could ever receive for Teacher Appreciation Week would be for all the 6th graders to wear deodorant for an entire week straight.

Husband (texting me at lunch): Is today a better day?

I missed being a teacher yesterday so I let my coffee go cold, didn’t pee for 7 hours and stood in my living room repeating myself.

83% of teaching is saying, “Listen carefully because I am not going to repeat this,” just before repeating yourself 12 times.

There should be teacher dating apps where you can just meet single teachers in your area and spend your nights marking papers together and no one judges you for bringing your work home...

Me: who is your favourite singer? Pupil: holds up little finger Short silence… Me: no, your favourite singer, not your favourite finger

my mom has trained her unruly 5th grade class to respond to “hear ye hear ye” with “all hail the queen” followed by immediate silence i’m both appalled and impressed

Those who think kids can’t write a full essay haven’t seen the subject lines of emails they send to their teachers.

I ask my students to send me photos of their dogs doing class work. It’s an under-appreciated photography genre.

Today a student asked me if a word needed a “flying comma”. He meant apostrophe, but I think I’m going to call them flying commas from now on just because it makes me smile

A student sent me a joke via email and I accidentally responded with “Bahahaha!” instead of “Hahahaha!” and now I feel like I crossed a line. Like “Bahahaha!” is somehow too informal. Anyway ... these are the types of thoughts that consume me and keep me up at night.

Me: *gives direction* Kindergartener: Yes, ma'am! Me: Ooh, thank you for calling me "ma'am." That made me feel very respected. Kindergartener: You're welcome, your highness.

If you’re a math teacher, a good joke would be to call the store 7-11 “Negative 4”. Then, when nobody laughs, cry in your Kia Sorrento.

We implemented a no cell phone policy and that seems to have brought prayer back into schools. Most of the students now spend class time with their head bowed towards their laps.

Student told me today that when she grows up she wants to have hair like mine. I was feeling all proud of myself until she added “without the white parts, of course.”